If you want to think of nothing 
you must feel the weightless wind of nothing,
smell the scent of nothing

and touch the sea of nothing.

If you want to think of nothing

you must walk down a path of nothing
reach a dead end of nothing
and turn back to the path of nothingness.

If you want to think of nothing,
you have to call up your friend who's nothing,
meet he or she at a cafe place, while drinking a cup of hot tasty nothing.

Chatting away about a book of nothing you just read.

If you want to think of nothing,
You must go to bed  thinking of absolutely nothing
close your eyes so you see nothing,
and make sure your alone to hear nothing,
so that your dreams are about all the nothing you heard saw and felt that day.

If you want to think of nothing,
You just have to pretend you are in a world that is everything but nothing.


What are you thinking about right now?
I sure hope your answer is nothing!  To start off, the reason I wrote this poem was a certain meditation I wanted to try out. Sometimes our minds are too cluttered with thoughts that overwhelm us to an extent where we cannot take it anymore. For instance, today while I was on the bus going to school I was very angry at my mother that morning because of a pointless argument that I had with her. My head was fuming so much that I wanted to explode. As a result, I tried to not think about it, but instead of thinking of the fight, I started thinking about more worries that was stressing me out. So, I tried this meditation method of thinking about absolutely nothing, which I have always thought was impossible to do yet it was so easy when I wrote about it in a poem. Just reading the word nothing made me think of the word nothing and what it represents. Therefore, I brought the word nothing alive by turning "nothing" into everything our world has to offer us. Our senses, the nature, people and food. Everything we need to survive, instead of all the pointless things that we tend to waste our thoughts on. Try it out sometime! 






The Cluttered Mind 









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Photo Taken by Marie Francisco

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The status change. Everyone loves to see who is finally on the market. However, people might not even be interested in dating the new single stud muffin, yet they still want to stick their noses in.


"Aww. Why did you guys break up?" 
"Always here if you want to talk!" 
"We have to hang out soon, very soon

  It's a guilty pleasure that we all have. Acquaintances whom you haven't talked in a while are now surprisingly instant messaging you. Family members are much more happier when you are around, giving you that 'extra attention'.  Friends of the opposite sex are pretending to be concerned, whereas in reality they are doing cart wheels on their front porch. And your single best friends are just waiting to party with you. Break ups don't sound too bad do they? I guess being single isn't so bad either, but why do I still hear single individuals complain about being single?  It's because eventually the attention starts to gently fade away. They've partied too much, talked about their ex enough, and hooked up with other people that they aren't totally into enough , and now they've grown to be tired. Enough is enough. They want to have a partner, a companion, and a significant other whom gives them a new different excitement to their lives. These kind of single people tend to have many relationships. If they get too bored of being single, they most likely can get bored of being in relationship too. This is all due to one reason: in a relationship, there is limitations. No more hooking up with other random people, having to sometimes reject partying with friends, and the opposite sex lost interest. To summarize, if there isn't much interest from others, there is no attention on the "In a relationship" status. People don't care how much in love people are. You might hear the occasional.

"Aw, you two are so cute" 
"How long have you guys been together?"
"You think you are going to marry them someday?"  

 Remember these are occasional questions, and the answers to them are just smiles, a quick response and a 'yes' or a 'maybe'. That's all people want to know about your happiness, which is quite depressing how hearing depressing things are much more compelling to others than happy things. Thumps up for channel 24 news. Anyway, being in a relationship after a while can bore the typical relationship status lemur because the attention is not on them anymore. So they break up with their partners, and want the single life back. They want a exciting, adventurous and independent life where all eyes are on them. Then they get bored or lonely again, whatever the excuse is,  and start up a relationship again. It's a never ending status change from "In a relationship" to "Single"  "In a relationship" to "Single" "In a relationship" to "Single" x10




Therefore, I believe that the most healthy way to avoid to be the relationship status lemur is to put life on pause and look at what we really want in life. Most people want to have that special someone they can grow old with, but we must realize that it's not the end of the world if we haven't found them yet. Being single should be less of partying and hooking up because at the end of the day, when you aren't at club or a bar and you are walking through a local park or watching a movie, or just sitting there in your room, there is some feelings of loneliness. To deal with the loneliness is to accept it for it is. In my opinion, being single can be a self discovery process. Time to ourselves, time to meet new people and able to find that perfect somebody instead of rushing into useless relationships just for the thrill of it. 

So for all the singles, heres some ways of how to be alone..







I had a conversation with a friend of mine whom is very afraid of roller coasters. I told him, "No way! You are missing out. They are so much fun!" Although, I realized how many fears I had that has limited me from having "fun". Our fears sometimes can control the way we live our life, which either could be a good thing or a bad thing. Depends on what you fear. For example, snakes or spiders. They way they move, sound, and bite. In that case, if it came to survival we should be staying away from them anyway. However, some individuals have strange phobias that are sometimes unexplainable and can limit the way one must live their life. So I decided to write a blog post about all my fears to see which ones that are effortless to overcome, ones that are difficult to overcome, and ones that are absolutely silly.And I always used to say "I'm afraid of nothing!" I guess I was wrong...

1. When I am on a plane, I keep thinking about the plane falling into the ocean.(refer to #9)

2. Fear of the dark. My lamp beside my bed is always on at night, even if its really dimmed. It needs to be on because I want to be able to see if I ever wake up in the middle of the night, which is odd because I never used to be like this as a kid. I never used a night light.

3. Fear of death. Everyone thinks about it at least once. I thought about this durning my writers craft class in high school when my teacher asked us "Put your hand up if anyone here is afraid of dying" I put my hand up.

4. This one might sound stupid, but I am always afraid to walk around with scissors in my hand! Its hilarious. The reason why is because I was warned so many times by my mother and teachers as a child to not run with scissors and hold them by the sharp ends facing the other way. Now, I always think I am going to fall and poke my eye out. Therefore, I am extra careful when I walk with them now, holding it so far away from my body.

5. Fear of lady bugs. I despise them. My friends would always think they are so cute, and hold them all the time. I never wanted to touch them. I forgot about this fear until I was reminded on my Florida trip in March. There was a lady bug in the car on the backseat window and I just felt so uncomfortable.

6. Fear of throwing up. Yes, sometimes when my stomach hurts and my insides start to tingle- I get really nervous because I think I am going to throw up, which I don't want too. Who really enjoys throwing up anyhow?

7. Fear of the dead. When I am at funerals and I pay my respect to the deceased, especially if it's an open casket I think the person will open it's eyes. Freaks me out just a tad. 

8. Horror Movies. I can't watch them anymore. I cover my eyes, plug my ears and cuddle in a ball like a little baby.

9. My all time fear...drowning. Don't get me wrong, I love absolutely love the water. I just don't like being under it. The feeling of not being able to breathe worries me.

So there you have it. Those are my fears and now everyone knows some of my weaknesses that I will eventually overcome. New blog post perhaps?  Poor lady bugs, what did they ever do to me! I will keep all of you updated. For now, my questions of the day is "What are your fears? Do we have any in common?"

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This Writers Craft class is slowly changing my life. I'm starting to think more, see more, talk more, read more and especially write more. I want to write until I cannot even breath. I want to take this pen that lays perfectly tight within my hands to my grave. Why you may ask? I have no idea yet. I am still trying to figure this whole writing thing out. All I know so far is that it's taking inch by inch of my soul. It's so time consuming that I can't even sleep. Although, I still strive for it. I still hunger for it. If i am not writing- I am thinking about writing. It's the apparatus to maintain my sanity. It's the apparatus to my happiness because it's all that I got.




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Whoever came up with this quote got it down accurately. Your best friend becoming someone who you actually love. It makes complete sense. They know you already, you trust them with your life, they have seen you at your best and worst. Nothing can get better than that. Although, what happens when the hot fire man with his extinguisher comes along? The answer is, an ended friendship. I guess its a risk to take, right?

On the contrary, I do believe some friendships are just meant to be friendships. For example, when watching the film "P.S. I love you" is about her husband dying, and moving on from him becomes this great journey...Blahblahblah. Anyway, she meets this very blunt man that she becomes good friends with. He grows strong feelings for her, she doesn't really know about how she feels for him, and than they eventually kiss - nothing happens. No spark, No ka-boom, No nothing. Just pure absolute awkwardness. In view of this, I started to question 'Should friendships with obvious chemistry be considered just friends? ' In other words, its clear when theres no connection in a friendship. Not to mention, there is friendships that begin and continuously have an attraction, a sex appeal, and a strong bond that you never experienced before with anyone else. A bond that can possibly be successful or as I mentioned, a complete failure. As a result, you can lose that person forever. Despite of that, this constant fear of losing a friend can turn into a brick wall-- not letting the friendship go further can result your friend moving on. Basically, this is another terrifying risk. Which one to take is the decision to make.

The funny thing about this, my brother once gave me a piece of advice. "Any best friend that is the opposite sex, eventually has feelings for you regardless" I still highly disagree with this statement because my friend and I are still great friends and there is no attraction nor had any attraction before. We even cringe at the thought of it. So, in ways I am lucky I can keep a mutual friendship with someone of the opposite sex without the confusion. However, I have experienced my own personal scenario that grants my brothers advice some creditability. So I ask the same question once again, "Should friendships with obvious chemistry be considered just friends?" In my humble opinion, I do not believe its just friends. No matter what relationship they are in, they are still in their heart. No matter what they say, if there is a connection it is crossing over the "just friend" line. My best advice I can give to others is test it out. You can't live your whole life having feelings for one another and not doing anything with it. It can be the greatest thing of your life. Plus, if it doesn't work out and the friendship is ruined, they are not a good friend to begin with. If they were friends with you long enough, they would not want to lose the friendship either. It will hopefully end on a good note, even if it takes some time too. So take the risk, it's a risk worth taking! [I am still ashamed, but proud of my fire men example ;) ]

If anyone disagrees, I would like to read some new criticism ! I write so you can read, and if you can write, I will read. Story telling is never ending.






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Recap of my valentines day

Numero uno:   Stefan and I exchanged gifts. I got a pink cute ipod shuffle for when I go to the gym! ( http://www.apple.com/ca/ipodshuffle/?cid=jm ) After a couple of days trying to find a valentines day gift for him because I find buying a gift for a boy so hard on valentines day. I came across a digital picture frame key chain and uploaded all the pictures of me and him to it with some chocolate! You can never go wrong with some chocolate right?

Numero duo: We thought having dinner at a restaurant was a bad idea. First off, it's valentines day meaning... 3 hour wait? First come first serve? No way. So a nice dinner at one of our houses is what we did.

Numero tre: We went out for a movie, and watched "Valentines Day" To be honest, I enjoyed it and he enjoyed it too. It wasn't over dramatic or over romantic. It was a good movie for the season and made us laugh. So thats all that really matters.

Numero quattro? ( I need to practice my italian): After our third bag of popcorn, we went to Starbucks and stayed till closing. Their hot chocolate is amazing.

- I almost left my purse there... that had my ipod shuffle in it. Stupid me. I forget everything, just so you guys know. Normal behaviour for me.

Uhm.

Numero cinque: Overall, it was a great Valentines day, because it was simple, just the way I like it.
I hope everyone else had a great day, even if you weren't celebrating it with a special "someone". It's still an opportunity to be with your family and your friends whom are just as important and need lots of love. And if your alone.. its an awesome opportunity to eat lots of chocolate.


Hugs and Kisses Everyone From Meee :)






photo taken by Marie in Varadero, Cuba

I'm trapped in a sea of loneliness
but loneliness has never felt any better.
The feeling of the empty, cold air grazing my skin.
The burn from the sun through my window.
Nothing has felt any better than that.
Loneliess is silence
Although no one has ever thought to embrace the moment of silence when they were feeling lonely because they are thinking too much of the sadness that comes with it.
They are thinking about dying alone
Thinking of the day they lost their job
or the one whom they love.
They are thinking too much about the lost
than the gain of absolute naked silence.



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